Without You
by LordofAmus
Summary: Modern AU. After a tragic event, brothers Thor and Loki are separated for almost a decade. Now that they've been reunited, an old threat reappears and threatens the two brothers once again. Can they overcome this threat, or will they lose each other, or possibly, themselves?
1. Chapter 1

Without You. Ch. 1

A/N: So it's been a while since I wrote a legit story, and it's my first Thor story, so any critique on my writing would be helpful. I'm fairly new to the fandom, and to Norse mythology, so if you notice any mistakes, please let me know! Also, I obviously don't own any of the characters, unless stated otherwise. Happy reading!

* * *

Twigs snapped under the two young boys feet as they treaded down the familiar path that led to the stream. The smallest of the two groaned as a low hanging tree branch snagged at his ink colored hair. As he tried to fix his hair, he shot a glare to the blonde haired boy in front of him.

"Why do I always let you drag me along in your silly plans, Thor?" he groaned, "Mother and father aren't going to be happy with us if we get dirty."

He let his voice trail off, the scowl still etched into his features. His brother gave a laugh, "Relax, Loki. Have I ever let you down?" Loki opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly cut off, "On second thought, don't answer that."

They fell into a brief silence as both brothers listened for the sound of the water as they neared the stream.

The two brothers stopped at the edge of the stream, watching the water flow past them. They were silent, both seemingly lost in their own thoughts. Thor turned his head towards his younger brother, noticing the way his eyebrows pinched together as he thought.

The younger did not seem to feel too comfortable in the silence. After all, Thor was never silent. Even when he slept, he snored as loud as an elephant. Glancing towards his brother at the corner of his eyes. His thin lips were tugged into a frown as he glanced at the smirk growing on the blondes face.

"Thor, what are you-?" Loki cut himself off with a yelp as Thor easily hoisted him off of his feet. Loki kicked his feet furiously, placing his palms against Thor's chest and thrusting away.

"Thor! Let me down this instant! Thor, I mean it!" he yelled. Thor gave a hearty laugh as he began to walk into the water.

"Relax, brother. We're just going for a little swim." He was up to his knees by now. Loki, at this point, had stopped kicking and was now clinging to him, not wanting Thor to drop him.

"Don't you drop me, Thor. Don't you dare let me go." Loki hissed, trying his best to not allow any of the fear he felt bleed into his voice. However, Thor heard it as clear as day and that protective, older brother side of him overtook him. He instinctively tightened his grip on Loki, mindful to not grip him too tightly as to cause pain.

"Don't worry, little brother. I won't ever let you go." His smile softened as he looked down as his brothers face. He could tell the other was trying to read his face. He only laughed, "You know that, don't you?"

Loki was silent for a moment, only blinking in surprise at Thor's sudden seriousness. Slowly, he nodded. "Yes, I know." There was a silence as Loki bit his lips in thought.

"You're thinking of something." Thor states.

"What a keen observance," Loki laughs. Thor shoots him a playful look.

"Haha, very funny." Thor said, his tone dripping in sarcasm, "But what were you going to say?"

Loki waved his hand dismissively, turning his gaze to the water around them, "It is nothing." he uttered. He glanced up at Thor, "Put me down."

"I thought you told me not to." Thor said, amusement clear in his voice.

"I said I didn't want you to drop me. That doesn't mean that you can't put me down on my own two feet." Loki explained.

With a loud laugh, the blonde complied and set the younger down on his feet. Being shorter, the water was up to Loki's thighs.

"There, that wasn't so hard, was i-" Loki's yelp cut himself off as Thor splashed water on him, "Thor!"

Thor erupted in laughter at his brother's furious shout, and dashed a few feet away from his soaked, and fuming, younger sibling

"Oh come on, brother. You didn't think that we'd go to the stream without having a water fight?" Thor gave another laugh as he splashed Loki again.

Loki's scowl melted into a grin as he advanced towards his brother, "If it's a fight you want, then it's a fight you'll get."

Together, the two brothers splashed around in the water. Though they were both thoroughly soaked by the time they dragged themselves out of the water, Thor had managed to dunk Loki several times.

"Hey, Loki, look!" Thor took his long golden hair and pulled it off his face. He slicked it back in a way that resembled how Loki typically kept his hair, "I'm you now!"

Loki rolled his eyes at the other, though an amused smile creeped at his lips. He shook his hair out, fixing it as best as he could.

"Haha, you're so funny, Thor."

They made their way home, occasionally laughing, occasionally shoving the other playfully. The two brothers were completely unaware that their lives were soon to be changed drastically.

* * *

It seemed almost surreal to be looking up at the stadium. For so long, Loki had been searching for where his brother had gone, searching what he had been up to. Now that he was actually here, after all the weeks, maybe even months that he had spent to find him, it seemed almost impossible. He hadn't been too far, but it had taken him a long time to get everything together.

Thor hadn't been as far away as he had thought, but he had still needed to find a place to stay. Tired of his life, and desperate for a change, he had dropped out of school, ran away from home, and had gotten a job so that he could pay for the small apartment he was currently staying in.

He didn't know what he would feel when he was finally in front of the stadium. He felt free. After so many years of being tossed between foster homes, he was at least on his own. No more would he have to listen to the taunts of the other children. No more would he have to be treated poorly and be unable to do anything.

He too felt pride burning in his chest. He had done a lot to get here; he had made many sacrifices to get to where he was. Though his apartment was barely big enough for him, and even though he was hungry most days, he was still proud. He had done pretty well for himself given his current position.

Despite the emotions he felt, he had not expected to feel nervousness. He was usually quite confident, and rarely felt nervous, even when it came to his foster family. However, he hadn't seen Thor in almost ten years. It was a long time to be apart. He had no idea what Thor would be like now, he had no idea what he would think. Though he didn't plan on talking to Thor tonight, he still felt fear and nervousness twisting his gut. Would Thor see the sad state of his little brother and be disgusted by him?

Pushing the nervous thoughts away, he purchased a ticket to the game and strode into the stadium. Shouldering his way through the groups of people crowding around the concession stand. He managed to find a seat towards the front. He had a pretty good view of the field, and was close enough to distinguish some of the players features.

Everyone around him was cheering and shouting in excitement, but it had little affect on them. Their cheers were just a distant buzzing in his ear. He was too focused on looking for his brother.

He had never one for sports. He had always preferred intellect, though he remembered that his father had been enthusiastic about sports. Believing that sports taught important skills, it was often that he had tried to get his sons to join a few sports teams.

Thor hadn't been a problem. As a child, he had tried every sport at some time. At least, until he tried foot ball. He had fallen in love instantly, and while he was still apart of other teams, he focused primarily on foot ball.

Loki knew not of what happened after they were separated. Perhaps Thor only played foot ball now. He knew that Thor had already been chosen to play for a college team, and a prestigious one at that.

His thoughts drifted back to his father. He had always been disappointed that Loki didn't share Thor's enthusiasm for sports. At first, he had forced him to join a team, but eventually, he realized that Loki was not interested and let him be. He never said it, but Loki always knew that his father preferred Thor over him.

He heaved a sigh. This was supposed to be a good day. He shouldn't be lost in old memories that would only make him bitter and sad. Shoving those thoughts away, he turned his attention to the field. He searched for Thor in the line of high school boys lining up in the field.

He knew he would recognize him even after all this time. He knew Thor's number from his research, so he knew he could always find him that way as well. However, it was not needed as his sharp eyes settled on the one he knew was his brother.

He was big and tall. Even at the distance, he could see the long blonde hair pouring out from the back of his helmet. A soft smile tugged at his thin lips. The gesture felt foreign to him, but seeing something as familiar as Thor's long hair flooded him with nostalgia.

As children, they both tended to keep their hair fairly long. Lightly touching his own shoulder length hair, Loki realized that Thor had also let his hair grow, and something about that made him happy.

He watched as the game continued on. He didn't understand what was going on, or why people would cheer before the ball had even gotten into the end zone, but none the less, he watched attentively.

As the game neared it's end, Loki checked the time, noting how late it was getting. Luckily, he didn't have work in the morning, so he could stay up as late as he wanted, but he was exhausted from a long day at work.

When he turned his attention back to the field, he froze. Thor was frozen in the field, like a deer caught in the head lights. He was staring directly at Loki and though he was not close enough to see the expression on his face it was evident from his body posture that he was surprised.

Loki too was suddenly frozen in his seat. His entire body turned cold as he realized Thor had seen him. Fear spread throughout his body. He hadn't wanted to talk to Thor. He had no idea how he would react and just the idea of not knowing something frightened him.

He had to get out. Standing up abruptly, he fled from the stands, feeling Thor's eyes burning into his back. Luckily, it was the middle of a game, so Thor couldn't follow him. He broke into a jog as soon as he was out of sight of the field, feeling a desperate desire to return home.

With his heart hammering in his throat, he slowed to a hurried walk as he kept to the side of the stadium. He ran a shaky hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down, but all he could see was Thor frozen in the middle of the field, all he could hear was the sound of the people cheering around them, and his own breathing in his ear.

He felt sick to his stomach. His world was spinning. This was all too much for him. He had to get home. He needed to get home. For as much as he hated how small it was, he loved it. It was his own. He had earned it himself, and it was the one place in the world that he could go to to get away from the world when it became too much.

His head was so filled with thoughts that he didn't hear someone yelling his names, nor did he hear the rapid footsteps as said person ran towards him. It wasn't until someone seized his arm, halting him in his tracks, that he noticed that someone was there with him.

Just his luck. He was going to get mugged, though it wasn't like he carried anything worth stealing.

He whipped around, blindly thrashing his free arm at the person who had grabbed him. He managed to land one blow, albeit weak, before the other grabbed his other hand.

"Loki!" he suddenly heard the voice. It was gentle, not at all what he had expected from someone who he had thought was trying to mug him. It wasn't until he looked at the face of the person who had grabbed his arm that he froze.

It was Thor.

His jaw dropped, quivering slightly, and he didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. A warm chuckle came from Thor, the brother he hadn't seen in nearly a decade.

"So it is you," When Loki didn't reply, Thor continued, "I couldn't believe it when I saw you at first. What are you doing here? Why did you run from me?"

There was so many questions, and not just the ones that Thor spoke of. With his mind spinning, Loki was at lost for words. It was an odd thing. Even when he was younger, he had been so well known for being good with words that he had earned himself the nickname of Silver tongue. Even when everything else failed, he could at least rely on his words, but even now, they failed him.

Loki was silent for a few moments before he found his voice. It was low and it was so I characteristically soft, "I had to come see you..."

For a moment, both brothers were silent. They were perfectly content with just staring into each other's eyes for the first time in a long time, drinking in everything. They had both grown so much since they had last seen each other. Though both burned with questions and with the desire to catch up, no words came forward. They all died on their tongues.

With no words to express how they felt, there was only one thing that could hope to express a fraction of what they felt. Thor suddenly tugged Loki forward and enveloped him in a tight hug. It wasn't until then that Loki realized he was crying.

Though Thor's hug should have been somewhat painful, Loki was grateful for its tightness. His body was trembling and it was as though Thor was holding him together. He had felt like he had been slowly falling apart for so long, that to have someone holding him tight was a relief. He felt as though things would finally be ok.

With so many emotions running through his body, and having kept it locked inside for so long, it felt so good to finally be with Thor. He wrapped his own thin arms around his brothers wide back and clung to him.

"Shhh, it's ok now, Loki. I'm here," Thor whispered softly, his own voice trembling, "I'm here."

And for the first time in almost ten years, Loki knew that things would be ok.

After what seems like a long moment, the two brothers parted from their hug. Thor looked down at Loki's face as the younger tried to wipe his tears away. He placed his calloused hand on the side of Loki's neck in that old but familiar gesture and smiled, "Let us go home. We have much to talk about."

Though Loki began to wonder where home was, he didn't doubt that home was Thor was, wherever that may be.


	2. Chapter 2

Without You. Ch. 2

~/~

Once, when Loki was around the age of five, he decided to run away.

As a result of an argument between Loki and his father, Loki defiantly declared he was going to leave home before promptly stomping out of the doors, leaving his family speechless.

Loki was a lot of things, but he usually did not react in such a way. Most of the times, he quietly stood in the background, or at worst, cry. He did have a tendency to be dramatic with things from time to time, as some little boys did, but it was not like this.

Thor knew this, and insisted that his parents go after him and bring Loki home. His parents waved him off, telling him, "Your brother doesn't mean it. He'll be back soon; he's probably just out in the garage and wants some space."

Thor, being young and believing anything his parents said, pushed down the sick feeling in his gut and went back to his day. However, no matter how much he tried to distract himself with video games, or his dog, his thoughts always returned to Loki.

After a few hours, Loki still had not come home. His parents were starting to show worry now, and the family set out to go find the young boy. Thor glanced worriedly at his parents. His mother wrung her hands nervously, but his father muttered to himself, angered that he had to go out to find the young boy.

Loki had not been in the garage, as his parents had believed he would be. With their worry mounting quickly, they split up to find him; Thor with his mother, and his father by himself. Thor prayed that it would be his mother and himself who found Loki first.

They headed down to the woods down the road, knowing how much Loki loved to talk walks. However, Loki had never been outside alone before; he had always been with Thor, or his parents. Thor could only imagine how scared his poor brother must be, especially as the sun began to sink below the clouds, casting colors across the sky.

"Mother, do you think Loki will be ok?" he asked, tears thick in his voice.

His mother reached down and took her son's hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Yes, I do. Your brother is very bright, Thor. We'll find him shortly."

Thor nodded quietly and the two called for Loki as they proceeded down the familiar trail. As it grew dark, even Thor himself grew wary of the place around them. His mother and him were completely vulnerable; they carried nothing to protect them if anything, or anyone, should decide to attack them.

For a brief moment, Thor grew angry at Loki for causing them to be out in the woods in twilight. If he hadn't had run away, they wouldn't be out here now to look for him.

However, he felt all anger wash away from him as he heard a distant, yet familiar, sound.

His mother must have heard it too, for she stopped in the trail, "Loki, dear, is that you?" she asked.

Thor's hopes rose, hearing that sound again. However, his hope was short lived. It sounded as though Loki was crying. Worry flooded him so quickly that he thought he might be sick.

"Loki? Brother, is that you?" he called loudly. As his voice reverberated in the open area, he heard the sobs turn into sniffles.

"Thor?" Loki's voice, low and hopeful, stammered. Thor immediately left his mother's side, hurrying towards the sound of his brother's voice. He could hear the crunch of twigs behind him, alerting him that his mother was behind him.

"It's me, brother. Where are you?"

"I'm stuck." Loki's voice trembled with fear, "I think I can see you."

Thor continued on, motivated by the sound of his brothers voice. He desperately wanted his brother back, safe and sound. With his heart hammering in his chest, he finally spotted his brother.

Loki was on the ground, his leg tangled in vines. Just beyond him was their favorite tree. Thor quickly put two and two together.

He crouched down by his brother and clasped his hand around the side of his neck in a familiar and affectionate gesture, "Are you hurt, brother?"

Loki shook his head, sniffling once again. His face was streaked with tears and his hair was unkempt, but other than that, he looked fine. Thor nodded and set to work untangling his brother's leg as his mother joined them, crouching by her youngest son and hugging him tightly. He could hear the both of them crying, and hearing his mother telling Loki how worried they had been as he untangled the vines.

At last, Thor freed Loki from his trap and patted his calves, as if to tell him that he was free.

His mother bent down, wrapping her arms around the small boy and lifted him up. Loki wrapped his small arms around her neck and pressed his face to her shoulder. Thor looked up at his mother as she motioned silently for them to leave.

Once on the trail, Loki was gently set down on his feet. Thor hurried to his side and tugged him into a tight hug. Loki attempted to push him away, but he was exhausted and frightened. After his feeble attempt to push Thor away, he relaxed in Thor's grip and allowed the other to hold him to Thor's larger chest.

"You two stay here for just a moment. I'm going to call your father and let him know we found Loki." his mother said. At the mention of their father, Loki's form stiffened. Thor nodded and gently brushed Loki's coal hair.

Their mother went down the trail a bit to call their father. Thor listened carefully, also hearing her tell their father that he couldn't yell at Loki; that he had to welcome him home. Thor was grateful, though he wasn't convinced that his father would listen to his mother's words.

Within a few moments, their mother returned and reached down to take both Thor and Loki's hands, "Come along, you two. It's time to go home; we've all had a long day."

Thor nodded silently whilst Loki bent his head downward.

As they approached their home, their father stood in the drive way. His face was hard and a frown was evident, but as they neared, Loki expression became fearful. Their father's face softened and he bent down to be at Loki's eye level.

"Hello, Loki." he said quietly. Loki tilted his head up slowly, trying to mask his fear. When he said nothing, their father continued, "We've been worried about you."

"I'm sorry." Loki whispered silently, trying his best not to cry once again.

"I know, son. I'm sorry too. Let us go inside; we're all tired, and you need to be cleaned up." He held his hand out for Loki, which he took hesitantly. Thor smiled as his father offered Loki a kind smile. Loki's stiff shoulders relaxed and he drew closer to his father.

Together, they all went inside. Loki was cleaned up and they all sat together; Thor sitting on his father's knee, and Loki curled up on his mother, fast asleep.

Naively, Thor had believed that those times would last forever. No matter if they argued, and one would cause trouble, at the end of the day, they were all family.

But all good things have to come to an end.

~/~

Thor watched as Loki settled down in the leather couch, nursing a cup of warm tea between his two hands. They had long since stopped shaking, but tea always helped to calm him down further. Raising the cup to his lips, he took a sip, pulling away as Thor sank into a seat beside him.

For a brief moment, they sat side by side in silence. Both enjoyed their warm drinks, appreciating the company of the brother they hadn't seen in such a long time. It was Thor who spoke up first.

"Do you realize that we've spent more time apart then we have together?" Thor's voice was low and soft. He turned his head to take in the sight of his younger brother, the one he had vowed to protect. Seeing said younger brother's eyes fill with sadness but for a brief moment, he sighed.

He had imagined what Loki would look like many times. He had not expected him to look so thin, nor so pale. The angles of his cheeks were sharp, and his eyes almost hollow. He felt like he had failed him.

"Where have you been?" he whispered, his voice even lower than before, "What happened to you, brother?"

Loki turned his gaze down to his cup, keeping his expression hidden from Thor. The elder desperately tried to get a reading on him, but he was guarded, as he usually was.

"After you left, I was on my own for a while. I bounced around from foster home to foster home, and I went to school. That's about it." When Loki glanced up, there was something about them that haunted Thor. They appeared to have lost that spark of mischief that Loki always used to have as a child. Now, they appeared to be dull and hollow, almost as if Loki himself was just a shell of his former self.

Just that thought in itself made Thor want to wrap his arms around him. He wanted to tell him everything would be OK now, that nothing bad would happen to him, that he wouldn't be alone anymore. He just wanted to be able to protect his little brother again.

After a pause, Loki continued again. "I had been trying to find you for a few months now, but it's taken me a while to find everything. I had to be certain if I was going to drop out of school and run away."

He said it as if it was nothing, but Thor's eyes widened as he heard this. "But Loki, you've always loved school! Did this change?" he asked, completely shocked. Loki's love for knowledge had always been one of his defining traits as a child. Loki immediately shook his head.

"No, I still enjoy learning new things. However, it was worth more to me to see you. I can go back and get my GED and go to college when I get the money; it will be no problem."

Thor didn't doubt that it would be a problem, as Loki probably knew more than a majority of his teachers did, but that was not what Thor was concerned about. Loki was intelligent. He knew that it would be smarter for him to stay in school and, if he could, go to college after that. Dropping out would make things more difficult for him.

Something must have been bad enough to make him want to leave before he graduated.

Thor sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair.

"You know, you did something very similar tonight." Loki spoke up, pulling Thor out of his thoughts. It was foreign for Thor to be so tangled in his thoughts, but it was a unique situation.

"Oh? How so?" Thor asked, completely lost as to what Loki was referring to. He watched Loki closely. He seemed comfortable sitting here with Thor, but he still couldn't get that look of his eyes out of his head.

"You think me dumb for dropping out of school, yet you were the one who ran out of the middle of a game to chase after someone you weren't even 100% sure was your brother." At that, Loki looked up, cracking a smirk.

Just the sight of that familiar smirk caused Thor to let out a hearty chuckle. This was the Loki he knew; one who joked and smirked and caused mischief wherever he could. He slapped Loki playfully on the back, "That's a good point, brother." he grinned at Loki, who smiled back. As far as Thor could tell, it was a real smile. His eyes, though they still did not have the spark that they did as children, were alight. "But wouldn't you do the same? I had to see if it was really you or not, and now that I know, it'll be worth any repercussions I face for my actions."

Loki was silent, taking in the others words. He turned away from the other, causing a smile to cross Thor's face. Even now, he was so guarded. He took pleasure in knowing that he still knew that much about Loki. So much had changed, and all that he wanted was to have his brother back, and to know him again as they once had when they were children.

Loki looked up at Thor, "Well, I told you my story, now it's your turn."

Thor sighed. He didn't really know what to say. He didn't really find his life that interesting, "Well, as you know, a young couple came in and picked me out. They took me home with them and I've been here since. I play foot ball with the school, and I have a scholarship to continue playing in college."

Loki nodded quietly, listening to his story. "So, where are your parents, then? I haven't seen them around here." Thor did not miss the way Loki said parents. It was as if calling these people, that to Loki were strangers, was like spitting venom.

"They're away on business." Thor simply stated. He knew Loki was most likely angry at his adoptive parents, which was to be understandable since they were the ones who separated them, but they had also been good to Thor, and he wanted Loki to like them.

Loki nods quietly, "How will they take the news that you have been reunited with the brother they separated you from?" His tone was harsh. A dark look took over Loki's eyes; a look Thor had seen a few times when they were children.

He laughed, "This is a good time, brother, do not fret about them. I'm sure they will love you."

Loki rolled his eyes, standing up from the couch. "They obviously didn't if they took you away from me." he muttered under his breath. Thor let out a sigh. He wanted for this to be a happy time, he wanted for Loki to be happy.

Standing up from the couch, he put a hand on Loki's shoulder. He was surprised by their size difference. His hand dwarfed Loki's shoulder, making his brother seem even more small and fragile.

Thor had always known Loki better than any other. He had always used his anger to hide his emotions. He had never been one to show any moment of weakness. He always hid it in some way. However, Thor and Loki had always known each other better than anyone, and Thor knew that this was one of those times where Loki was trying to hide his hurt.

"Loki," he began, his voice low, "Please, I know you are hurt and mad. I too was mad for a while, but you're here now. I'm sure I can convince them to let you stay with us."

Silence.

Thor pressed on.

"We just can't tell them that you ran away; I don't want to risk them sending you back. We'll have to come up with some story to tell them." Thor offered. Loki had always been the better liar of the two; he did not doubt that Loki could invent some kind of story that would be believable.

At this, Loki turned around, an amused smile on his lips, "You would lie to your adoptive parents for my sake? You, of all people?" he asked. Thor shrugged. He had always been opposed to lying, but he would do anything to keep his brother by his side. Loki smiled, "I'm impressed, brother."

Thor grinned and slapped Loki on the back again, "That's the spirit!"

Loki gave a laugh as well, and Thor felt his heart soar. He was glad to hear him laugh. He wanted to make up for all the years lost between them; he wanted to make up for all the hardships Loki had to face without him there to look after him.

Thor wanted to be Loki's brother again.

"So how long until your parents are home?" Loki asked this time out of pure curiosity.

"In two days."

"Are they often gone?"

"Yeah."

Loki shook his head, "Why adopt a kid if you're not going to be home much?" he asked.

Thor chuckled. "That thought had crossed my mind a few times, but I know that they're working so that they can provide the best for me."

There was a silence until Loki stood up, "As much as I would love to sit and talk, I'm exhausted."

Nodding, Thor got to his feet, "Of course. I'll show you to the guest room."

~/~

After leading Loki to the guest room, Thor settled in his own room. However, he found himself lying in his bed on his back while staring up at the ceiling.

He still couldn't believe it; Loki was sleeping under the same roof. They hadn't slept under the same roof for nearly ten years. The thought itself stunned Thor.

He wondered what had happened to Loki in that time. Foster care wasn't easy. Thor had experienced that first hand, but Loki had always had it harder than he did.

He had recalled the kids always picking on him, and the foster parents blaming him for things he didn't do just because he was known for causing trouble from time to time.

Thor had been around for a short bit to protect Loki, but Thor had no idea of what had happened after they were separated. He could only imagine that it got worse.

Sighing, he pinched his nose. He felt like he had failed Loki. He should have found a way to help him. Ideas raced through his mind of things that he could have done, yet were impossible.

He should have fought against his adoption and waited until they could be adopted together, he should never have stopped trying to get his parents to adopt Loki; he should have tracked Loki down and snuck him out.

He should have done more. Just the sight of his brother caused his chest to tighten painfully. Loki's pale skin, his dull lifeless emerald eyes, his gauntness and his bitterness all made Thor want to wrap him in a hug, as if that would cure Loki of all he had to endure.

Thor lost himself in old distant memories from his childhood, before the Bad Thing happened. He remembered the stream walking distance from their house, and playing catch with his father, and watching Frigga and Loki read a book together, and of dragging Loki along in his adventures. The time flew by, and before he knew it, it was late.

A low noise pulled him from his thoughts. Sitting up, he listened carefully, trying to identify the sound.

As it grew louder, he realized it was Loki.

Brushing it off as Loki talking in his sleep, he laid back down, deciding that he should try to sleep. However, just as his eyes closed, a scream jerked them awake.

Immediately, Thor was out of his bed and racing towards the guest room. He was surprised that Loki still had not awoken from his sleep. The blankets lay tangled around his limbs, which were still stirring, as if he was running from something. Thor was frozen as he gazed at his poor little brother. Loki had always suffered from nightmares as a child, but they had never been like this.

Thor shook himself from his daze and hurried to his brother's side, hands gripping his shoulders and shaking him, "Loki! Wake up, brother. It's just a dream!" He brushed some of his ink colored hair from his pale face, his heart breaking at the horrified expression adorning Loki's features.

With a jolt, Loki's eyes snapped open and he sat up in bed. Thor gently rested his hands on his shoulders, talking in a low voice, trying to calm his brothers shaking form. It terrified him to see Loki's frenzied breathing; how his harsh breaths rattled in his chest.

"Get off of me!" Loki rasped out, shoving Thor away. Mouth set firm, Thor gave Loki some space.

"Are you alright, brother?" he asked quietly. He knew how much Loki hated to be babied, but it was so hard for him to not to so. His question earned him a sharp glare as Loki ran a pale hand through his limp hair.

"Yes, I'm quite alright; just a nightmare." Despite his best attempts to hide it, his voice still shook with fear.

Thor watched his expression carefully, "You never used to have nightmares like that..." He let his voice trail off, almost expectantly. He didn't want to anger Loki further, but he couldn't let his brother dismiss this as if it was normal.

"Yes, imagine that, Thor. People change." Loki's tone was bitter and his eyes sharp.

Thor could feel his temper rising, but tried to remind himself that sharp comebacks like this was just Loki's way of protection. He hated to show any weakness, and Thor could only imagine the embarrassment Loki felt at having woken his brother up by his screams.

"You know that is not what I meant." Thor murmured softly, "I know you hate it, but I just worry about you, that's all."

Loki turned to face him, his eyes softer, more apologetic. He sighed quietly, "I know. I just..." It seemed as though his silver tongue was failing him. He struggled to find the words he wanted.

Thor chuckled, "Do not fret, brother, I understand what you mean." He patted the younger on his back. He found himself slipping back into old, yet familiar, habits.

Loki offered his brother a smile. Though it didn't quite reach his eyes, Thor could see his facial features beginning to ease. He patted the other, motioning for him to move over.

Loki's eyebrows bunched together, "What?"

"I'm too lazy to go back to my room; I shall just stay here for tonight." Thor declared as if it was a normal thing. Though he knew Loki would know exactly what he was planning, he was just using it as an excuse to sleep with Loki.

As children, Thor had often been awoken by Loki in the middle of the night after the younger had a nightmare. Afterwards, he would sleep through the rest of the night in the comfort of Thor's bed.

As predicted, Loki put up an argument, attempting to push Thor out of the bed on several occasions, though Thor could tell that Loki did not put too much effort in the process. He took it as a sign that Loki really did want for him to stay, but was just too unwilling to say so aloud.

So Thor eventually won and settled in beside his younger brother, pulling the covers up to his chest and pulling the other close. Loki seemed to fit perfectly into Thor's larger chest, just as he had when they were children.

Thor sighed happily and closed his eyes. Feeling the tension fade from Loki's form, he wished that moments like these would last forever. In their short lives, the two brothers had already endured much pain; both seemed to finally be getting the break that they wanted.

Lying by each other, they both felt as if some part of them had been restored. They recalled nights in their childhood where they would lie side by side; sometimes in silence, other times joking and whispering with each other. To lie beside each other once more, both brothers felt whole; for without Thor there was no Loki, and without Loki there was no Thor.

~/~

A/N: I don't wish to make a habit out of author's notes, but I just thought I should mention that I'm HOPING to update every Friday. Though it all depends on my schedule and how motivated I feel. Please review! I'd love to know your opinions or some ways to improve! Thanks and have a lovely day!


	3. Chapter 3

Without You. Ch. 3

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Loki struggled in the back of the trail as Thor and his friends Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun and Sif marched a few feet in front of him. He could hear them laughing, but about what, he did not know. He was growing tired, he was sore from stumbling so much, and he was frightened. It was beginning to grow dark, and the woods were scary at night.

"Thor!" Loki called ahead to his brother. When Thor didn't reply, he called ahead again, "Thor! Wait for me!"

He quickened his pace, trying to catch up. He imagined eyes of monsters and Bad Men watching him from behind trees, and in dark shadows. Loki hurried for the safety of his big brother, who still seemed to be too preoccupied with his friends to notice that Loki had called for him.

Not seeing the roots, Loki caught his foot, and tumbled down with a gasp. Loki began to cry. He had scraped his knee on the ground and it was starting to bleed now.

But that's not all he was crying for. He was frustrated. He was frightened. He was alone. He could imagine Thor and his friends continuing on down the trail, leaving Loki alone to be eaten by the monsters. Loki wanted more than anything, for Thor to come back.

Luckily for him, Thor did come back. His friends had heard Loki crying and had turned back. Unfortunately for Loki, Thor's friends came back as well. They stood over Loki, who was unaware that they had come back and laughed.

"What's a matter, Loki? Did you skin your knee?" one, maybe Fandral, asked sarcastically. This remark earned him a laugh from his companions. Loki quickly looked up, a shocked expression on his face. He darted to his feet and rushed to Thor, beginning to babble about how frightened he had been.

Thor rolled his eyes, "You're such a baby, Loki. We were right in front of you." he groaned. Fandral leaned over to Volstagg and whispered something to him. The two busted up laughing. Loki couldn't understand what was said, but Thor must have heard, for his face turned red and he shot a glare towards Loki.

Loki sniffed and wiped his eyes. He hated Thor's friends. Thor was perfectly fine when they were alone. If Thor's friends weren't there, Thor wouldn't have left Loki alone. If Loki had gotten hurt when it was just Thor and him, Thor wouldn't have treated him so poorly.

Glancing down at his feet, Loki heard Thor sigh. Thor put a hand on his younger brother's shoulder and pulled him closer, "Come on, little brother." he whispered just to Loki, "Let's go home."

Thor brushed past his friends, keeping his hand on Loki's shoulder. The younger relaxed slightly, but he could still hear the comments of Thor's friends behind him, obviously making fun of him. Luckily, they weren't too far from home now. Soon, he would be curled up in his warm, soft bed with the book he was currently reading.

Glancing upward, he looked at Thor. The elder didn't seem to take notice of him. His mouth was set in a firm line, as if he was embarrassed of Loki. Loki didn't notice, nor care at this point. He was just glad to be by Thor's side, for it was at Thor's side where he felt that he was safe.

~/~

Loki woke up to the enormous sound of Thor's snores. As children, his brother's snores had always annoyed him. Even as a kid, he had already had trouble sleeping, and Thor's snores only disrupted his sleeping further.

However, it was comforting for him to hear. It had been so long since he had felt at home. It had been so long since he had felt like anything had been safe, or familiar in a way that didn't make him want to run away.

Pressed tight to Thor's chest with the others large arms around him, Loki felt safe and secure. He felt as if things would finally be ok. Closing his eyes, he wanted to soak it all in. It had been nearly a decade since he had last seen the older brother he adored. Much had changed, but Thor was still Thor.

Thor was home. Thor was safety and warmth. Wherever Thor was, Loki wanted to be there beside him. He had sacrificed much and endured a great deal of hardship in order to get to where he was now, but in the end, it was worth it.

It wasn't until a half hour later that Thor woke with a drowsy groan. Blinking the sleep in his eyes, he looked about in confusion until realization hit him. He turned over to look at Loki, a warm smile gracing his lips.

It had been such a long time since anyone had looked at Loki with love.

"Good morning, brother." Thor greeted him, his voice still smothered with sleep, "How did you sleep?"

In other words, did Loki have any more nightmares?

Loki had slept peacefully after Thor had joined him. The elder had always been able to ward off his nightmares.

"I slept well, for a change." Loki replied, "How about yourself? I'm surprised you could even fit on this bed without falling off or breaking it."

Thor gave a laugh at Loki's remark, "It was cramped, but it was worth it."

Face reddening, Loki turned away. He wasn't sure how to respond to kind words anymore. About the nicest things he heard was praise for how smart he was, but that was on rare occasions.

Thor laughed, seemingly not picking up on Loki's reaction. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. After a stretch, he got to his feet and turned to face Loki.

"What are you hungry for? You're much too thin; you need to get some meat on those bones."

Loki looked down at himself and then back at Thor, "I only look so thin because you're used to seeing yourself, or a locker room full of big, muscular guys."

Thor laughed again, "You can tell yourself that, Loki, but I expect to see you putting on some weight while you're living with me."

Loki rolled his eyes with a smile and got out of bed. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."

Thor smirked and playfully shoved him. The two brothers fell into step with each other as they headed to the kitchen.

"So, with you 'parents' gone and the house all to yourself, what do you do?" Loki asked as he settled in one of the chairs by the kitchens island.

Thor was silent as he started getting various pots and pans out. At last he chuckled, "Not what you think. Though I may host a few parties and there may be alcohol, that's about it."

"That's it?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow. "I shouldn't be surprised, but I must say I am."

Thor gave him a look, "Oh please. You can't tell me you haven't gone to a party and had alcohol?"

Loki was silent. Thor sighed, and Loki could have sworn he heard the other mutter "shit" under his breath.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

Loki waved him off casually, "Nothing to be sorry of. To answer you; no. I didn't go to parties." He laughed, "I preferred to rebel in other ways; sneaking out, getting the other kids to act out. Things like that."

"Even after all these years and you're still the Maker of Mischief?" Thor's asks, using Loki's old nickname.

Loki chuckled. It was bittersweet, "Yes, and I'm sure my foster parents can attest to that."

Thor just laughed and shook his head as he focused on bacon sizzling in the pan. The scent of bacon drifted to Loki's nose, and his stomach reacted immediately by growling loudly. Thor laughed again.

"You sound hungry." he commented, looking up from the pan with a warm smile. When Loki nodded in conformation, Thor continued, "So since we have the house to ourselves for the next few days I was thinking we should-"

A knock on the door.

Thor, looking confused, headed towards the door, "Watch the bacon for me."

Loki rose to his feet and did as Thor asked as Thor went to see who was at the door. However, he struggled to focus on the bacon, which was already starting to burn. Only one thought was in his head, and that was the idea that someone could have found out where he was, and that the person at the door was someone who came to take him back to his foster home.

Loki wasn't ready to go back yet. Not now, nor ever. He hated that place more than anything, and he had only just found Thor. He didn't want to leave after just being with him for one night.

Luckily, the sound of Thor's jovial exclamation calmed Loki's thoughts. It obviously sounded as if one of Thor's friends had come over. The sound of multiple sets of heavy footsteps alerted Loki that they were coming into the kitchen.

"I am sorry for leaving the game so suddenly last night, my friends," Thor said in a booming voice as he approached the kitchen, "But I have some great news!"

"What could possibly be good enough that you chose to leave the game without so much as a word toward anyone? We could have lost!" a voice retorted.

"But you did not. Just come see for yourself."

Thor and his friends at last turned the corner of the kitchen. Behind Thor was four of his friends, all of which whom Loki instantly recognized as Thor's childhood friends. Thor gently nudged Loki out of the way to finish tending to the now burnt bacon as Loki and his friends looked at each other with shock; Thor's friends for the discovery of Thor's long lost brother, and Loki for the fact that Thor had retained his friends since his childhood.

A part of Loki was jealous. He had never really had any friends when he was a child, and if he had, their friendship would have been destroyed when he went to foster care. Thor had somehow managed to continue his friendship with the four friends even after his brief time in foster care.

"Is that...?" the one with the long red hair spoke. Loki vaguely recalled that his name might have been Volstagg. He was the biggest of the four, and had more than hair than all of them, including the girl that Loki believed was called Sif.

"By the gods, Thor, is that who I think it is?" the blonde who had spoken earlier said. Loki struggled for a brief moment with his name; Fandral.

Loki finally found his voice, "It all depends on who you think I am."

Fandral broke out into a grin and strode forward to give Loki a hard slap on the back, "I'd know those sarcastic remarks anywhere! It is you, isn't it, Loki?"

A small smile tugged on Loki's thin lips, "It's good to see you, Fandral." He meant it.

He gazed beyond the blonde to Thor's other friends. Volstagg was smiling over at Thor, obviously happy for his friend, and the quiet boy, Hogun perhaps, even had a slight upward curling of the lips at the reunion. The only one to not look pleased was Sif, though that didn't surprise Loki. She and he had always butt heads whilst growing up. She believed him to be a trouble maker and an ill influence on his older brother.

"How did you find him?" Volstagg asked Thor, who was looking at the bacon with a sour expression.

"I didn't. He found me; that's why I ran off the field." Thor said, taking some of the bacon and putting them on two plates. Four pairs of eyes returned to Loki once again.

"You found him? How'd you do that?"

Loki shrugged, "I just did some research and found out where Thor lives, and I found out he played football. So I had some planning; I had to save some money, I had to drop out of school and run away, I found a job and a small apartment not too far away. All I had to do at that point was find out when one of Thor's games were."

It was at this point where Sif spoke up for the first time, "So you took him away from the game?"

Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "No, I wouldn't do that on purpose. I went there only to watch; I didn't want to talk to him just yet."

"You didn't want to talk to him?" It was obvious that this was hard for Thor's friends to grasp. "Why not?"

Loki rolled his eyes, "Because I haven't seen him since I was six. Because I was nervous. Because of a lot of things."

Thor stepped in then, "You have to understand, my friends, this was a big thing for him to do. He obviously wanted to talk to me, or he wouldn't have done all the things he did in order to find me."

They silently nodded, considering quietly. Loki was surprised that Thor stuck up for him. When they had been kids, he had never been aware of his treatment of Loki; often putting his friends in front of him, and being oblivious to his friend's jokes.

Loki began to wonder how much Thor had changed. He had obviously changed quite a bit, now that Loki thought about it, to leave a football game before it ended. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have left, even if it was for the brother he hadn't seen in so long.

"Well, I say this calls for a celebration!" Volstagg declared loudly, earning a laugh from both Thor and Fandral.

"You just want an excuse to have a big meal!" Fandral exclaimed.

Volstagg waved him off, "No, no!" he exclaimed, though it was obvious that he wanted an excuse, "This is huge! Our dear Thor has been reunited with his long lost brother! If that doesn't warrant for a celebration, I don't know what does!"

Thor smiled and gave Loki a slap on the back as he handed him his plate of bacon. He took up the seat beside Loki and gave a hearty laugh, "That sounds like a marvelous idea! However, I will have to put this off until tomorrow."

At his friends, and Loki's, confused and disappointed faces, Thor continued, "My friends, I have not gotten much time to talk with my brother. I wish to at least have one day to just talk and hang out with him before I share this moment with anyone else."

His friends nodded to themselves. Loki could not help but smile. Thor would never have passed up on a chance to hang out with his friends while they were children. It was the fact that he did so now, that he would pass off a party to spend some time with Loki that meant the world to Loki.

Everything Loki had done to get to this point was well worth getting to Thor.

"Very well, Thor. You let us know when the celebration is, and we'll bring the beer." Fandral told Thor, who nodded gratefully.

"Thank you for understanding, my friends. I'll be sure to let you know." Thor replied, getting up to give his friends a clap on the back. Thor's friends even went over to Loki, who rose from his seat, to give Loki a friendly slap on the back. Even Sif, who had been mostly silent at this point, came forward to give him a pat on the back.

Loki began to wonder how much Thor's friends had changed. He supposed that Fandral and Volstagg had forgotten about how much they had teased him as a child. Sif hadn't changed her opinion of him, and Hogun was quiet as ever.

Loki figured that he would have a lot to catch up on.

Thor's friends left Thor and Loki with themselves. The two brothers both returned to their seats at the table.

"Well, what shall we do today?" Thor asked Loki, finishing the last of his bacon.

The younger looked up, unsure. He shrugged, "I don't know. What is there to do?"

Thor chuckled, "There's anything to do! There's no one to tell us we can't do something!"

Loki considered the other's words, thinking of all the possible things they could do, "Is the stream nearby? I'd love to see our old summer hang out again."

Thor smiled and nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah! It's just a short drive away."

Loki nodded, "Great."

"So that's the plan?" Thor asked.

Loki nodded, "That's a plan."

~/~

A/N: So yeah, Loki was 6 when he and Thor were separated, and Thor was 8. It's been nine years since they've last seen each other, so Loki is 15 now, and Thor is 17.


	4. Chapter 4

Without You. Ch. 4

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"Loki, can you hand me the star?"

Loki looked up to his mother as he lifted the golden star from its packaging and handed it to her. He watched, biting his lip, as she climbed the small stool so she could reach the top of their Christmas tree. She reached on her tip toes and carefully placed the star on the top of the tree.

"How does it look?" She asked, glancing back to smile at him warmly as she climbed down the stairs. Loki gazed at the tree adorned with lights, ornaments, tinsel and a few things he didn't know. It was indeed magnificent.

"It looks perfect!" His mother walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder as they gazed at the tree together. Loki looked up and that gentle smile on her face made him feel warm with love.

However, the warmth was fleeting. The room felt empty. Neither Thor nor their father was present. Their absence could be felt, as anyone could tell when one of them walked into a room. They had a certain presence to them that demanded to be noticed.

"Mother?"

"Yes, dear?" His mothers head glanced down at him, and her smile faltered for a brief moment as her eyes gazed upon his face.

"Will Thor and Daddy be home soon?" He asked quietly.

His mother crouched down so she was level with him and put a soft hand to his cheek, "They'll be home soon." She replied back, "They just needed to go to the store to get some more decorations."

Loki bit his lip. He felt bad that they had left the house because of him. Loki had tried to pull a prank, but had ended up damaging many of the decorations. His father had been furious, as he had never been a fan of Loki's pranks. He promptly left to go replace them, after of course scolding Loki rather harshly. He decided to take Thor with him, and left his wife and younger son at home to decorate the Christmas tree alone.

His mother smiled sympathetically, "Don't take it too personally, dear. You know how your father can be, and he tends to be more stressed during the holiday; he probably just needs to cool down."

Loki nodded silently and his mother chuckled sadly, wrapping her slender arms around his shoulders and pulling him into her warm embrace. Wrapping his own smaller arms around her, he felt himself relax. His mother was his sanctuary. She was the person he could go to if he got hurt, or lonely, or upset. She never scolded him like his father sometimes did, and Loki could never bring himself to show weakness to his brother. Even showing weakness to his mother was sometimes hard for him to do.

It was fortunate for him that his mother somehow seemed to know whenever he was upset. He could name plenty of times when she would visit him and comfort him in the way she knew best; by offering her company and her knowledge. Often, they would read books together and learn together. Loki was exceptionally bright for his age, and was eager to learn. His mother was similar, and through their shared passions, they had grown quite close.

The hug didn't last too long. They pulled back, though his mother kept her hands on his shoulders. She smiled at him, "How about we get some of those cookies I just made?"

Loki smiled happily and nodded, "Yeah!"

She laughed and took his hand, leading her little boy into the kitchen and offering him a cookie from the plate of cookies that had recently cooled. Loki happily took a cookie, and waited until she grabbed one as well. Together, they smiled at each other and ate their cookies at the same time.

Though Thor would tease Loki for being a 'momma's boy' when they were younger, Loki was not ashamed to be a 'momma's boy'. If it weren't for his mother, he would have been alone more often as a child.

~/~

The two brothers were, once again, traveling down that familiar trail in the woods. It had changed somewhat since Loki had been there last but that mattered little. It was still the same place that he had often traveled to as a kid with Thor and that was the only thing that mattered to him.

This had always been their special place; Thor never brought his friends to this spot. Loki had always loved it for that reason. It was one of the few places where he could truly be alone with his older brother without his parents to pester them, or Thor's friends to ruin the peacefulness.

Glancing up at the canopy of leaves that hung above their heads, a smile crept onto Loki's features. He could be at peace here. He could forget all the bad memories and all the hardships. He could finally pretend as though the Bad Thing hadn't happened and could just be with his big brother as he had when they were young.

It was as though he was walking through time. With each step, he went further back in time until he could close his eyes and see the stream as he had when he was a child, and hear Thor's voice, which had been much higher then. He could see Thor playing in the water and hear his shouts of joy. However, as he looked down at the water at his own image, the image shattered.

Rather than suddenly feeling tired and drained as he did any other time that he thought of his childhood, he felt glad. He was here now. He was with Thor. He didn't need those memories of them together as children to help him get through the day, for they were together now. The thought brought a smile to Loki's lips.

He glanced at Thor as his smile curled into a smirk. He gave the other a playful shove.

"Tag! You're it!" With that, he spun around and dashed into the stream, not even bothering to remove his shoes or roll up his jeans.

Thor was quick on his feet and thundered towards Loki. The younger, knowing he stood no chance of outrunning him, turned around and splashed him with water as he tried to keep him away. Thor gave a hearty laugh and splashed back, still perusing Loki, but at a much slower speed. Any plans that Loki was making left his head as he too laughed.

He could not remember the last time he felt this free or happy. Even when he had ran away from the foster home and was living by himself, he hadn't felt this free. He supposed that Thor just had that affect on him. As children, he had always been at his best when he was with Thor. The two brothers had always been able at bringing out the best, and occasionally the worst, in each other.

With a loud battle cry, Thor kicked off with his legs and tackled his younger brother into the water.

"Thor!" Loki yelped in surprise as landed with Thor's larger body on top of his, keeping him in the water. As children, the water level had been higher on their bodies, but at Loki's current height, he was able to keep his head above water as he was able to push Thor off just enough so he could breathe. Thor tilted his head up towards Loki with a proud smirk on his face.

"You're it." He said, giving Loki a little shove as he sprung to his feet and raced away. Loki, spitting out water, scrambled to his feet and attempted to chase down the blonde.

It wasn't until a half hour later that they climbed out of the water and collapsed on the grass. Neither spoke as they attempted to catch their breath. Even Thor was out of breath. Loki, who was breathing quite heavily, took that as a compliment to himself that he had caused Thor to be out of breath.

"Just like old times, isn't it?" It was Thor who spoke first. Loki, having not fully caught his breath, just nodded.

Thor chuckled at this, "It is odd for you to be so quiet."

"Don't get used to it," Loki panted, "You know I'm not one to keep quiet for long."

Thor laughed in response, "Oh, I know it, brother. Trust me."

They exchanged a look before looking at the same sky they had looked upon so many years ago.

"I don't ever want this to end." Thor stated after a pause. Loki turned his head over, gazing at the other who continued to stare up at the sky for a few more moments before he finally turned his head towards Loki with a warm, affectionate smile on his lips.

"It won't." Loki whispered softly. He didn't want this to end either. He was happier than he had been in years, he didn't have to walk on tip toes anymore. He knew he could be himself with Thor.

He could be happy with Thor.

His older brother rolled over to face him and held out his fist, which was closed except for his massive pinkie sticking out. Loki almost rolled his eyes as a grin tugged at his soft smile.

"Pinkie swear?" Thor asked. His blue eyes seemed to become even bigger, reminding Loki that he had always thought Thor was like a golden retriever as a child.

Loki playfully rolled his eyes but hooked his pinkie through Thor's pinkie that seemed to dwarf his own, "Yes, yes; I pinkie swear."

Thor smiled, now content with their pinkie swear. After patting Loki's shoulder and giving a laugh, he turned back to look up at the sky. Loki, in turn, gazed back up. He closed his eyes, drinking in the sun. He hadn't remembered feel so at peace in a while.

However, he could almost feel the questions bubbling within Thor. The information he had given his elder brother, which he admitted wasn't much, wasn't enough to satisfy him. After another brief silence, Thor spoke up again, as Loki had expected.

"Loki?" Thor asked. He turned his head to face Loki, who also turned to face him.

"What?"

Thor turned over on his side to face his brother, "Where did you stay before this?" As Loki opened his mouth to reply, Thor cut him off, "I know you probably don't want me to see it, but is it in a safe part of town? Is it clean? Is it big enough?"

Loki grew irritated with all the continuous questions. He argued with himself that Thor only cared for him and his well being but he could not help but feel as though Thor was being too nosy or that Thor would not approve.

"It is not very large and I do not know much of the safety of its location but it is my home. I pay for it myself, I clean it and I tend to it. It may not be much but considering all the work I had to do to get it, I'm quite proud of it." Loki explained, rolling over on his side to face Thor. His emerald eyes drifted to the sky just above Thor as he spoke.

Thor immediately jumped in, "I did not mean offense, brother. I know you worked hard for your apartment, but I'm only concerned."

Loki nodded, "I know you are, brother. But I assure you, I can take care of myself."

An affectionate smile graced Thor's golden features, "I know you can." He paused again, thinking for a moment before continuing, "But Loki, your home could be here, at my house, with me."

Loki tilted his head, his eyebrows bunching together. Before he could speak, Thor continued, "You said your apartment was your home. But what if your home was with me? I could talk to my parents, we could convince them to let you stay with us!"

Loki considered his idea. That would be something. He could save all the money he earned for getting his GED, and later, his college tuition. He would need all the help he could get, and the idea of being with Thor again made the deal even sweeter.

He allowed a smile as he nodded, "I would like that."

"You would?" Thor's eyes lit up with delight at his brothers words.

"Yes," Loki replied, a soft smile settling on his lips. He could feel the weight on his shoulders being removed, "I would love that."


	5. Chapter 5

Without You. Ch. 5

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Later on that night, Loki found himself seated between Thor and Volstagg on the couch. One of the Warriors Three had brought the beer, and not an hour later, beer cans littered the floor, and Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three were drunk. The strong smell of alcohol from their breath drifted around Loki in a cloud, causing his nose to wrinkle in distaste. Thor had one heavy arm around Loki's shoulder. Volstagg, who was a bit too close for comfort, was swaying slightly in his seat as he sang a song with Sif and the other members of the Warriors Three.

To Loki's standards, it was a rather large party. He was more of a loner and preferred his books more than human company. Whilst all the other children in the foster home ran about to have fun, he preferred to find a relatively quiet place and read, even if the other children made fun of him for it. He had always found comfort in books, which could share knowledge with him, or take him along on a journey. Even before the Bad Thing, he had always preferred books than going outside and playing.

However, to Thor's standards, the party was small. Thor was used to the big high school parties where almost half the school attended. He was used to loud music and lots of alcohol and girls to fall all around him, not that he ever paid much attention to them. He was quite happy with Jane and had no eyes for other girls.

However, to the both of them, this party was perfect. It was a special occasion, and both wanted to share it only with a few people who had known them when they were younger. Though Loki would have preferred it to be just him, Thor, and maybe Jane, he could put up with the Warriors Three and Sif if Thor wanted them to share the moment with them.

Jane sat on Thor's other side. She had declined any alcohol, as Loki had done, and was, instead, sipping from a can of soda. Thor had spoken highly of her, both of her looks and of her intellect. Loki had to admit that she was lovely, even if somewhat plain. However, she had a sweet look in her warm brown eyes and she possessed one of the warmest, gentlest smiles Loki had ever seen when they glanced at each other.

Loki could not help but feel jealous as he recalled how Thor had spoken of her. He told himself it was ridiculous; Thor could love the both of them. But Loki wanted Thor's love and attention all to himself. After all, he had missed out of nearly 10 years of it.

But meeting Jane in person made him feel even more ridiculous for being jealous. He had expected Thor to have a stunning girlfriend, and though while Jane wasn't strikingly beautiful, she had something about her that Loki could understand why Thor loved her. Even without speaking to her, she gave Loki the impression that she was kind and sweet. He had seen the look in Thor's eyes as he spoke of how curious Jane was and how devoted she was to anything she did and he knew that Thor was truly in love with the woman.

"Loki!" Thor exclaimed too loudly, just as Loki was thinking of starting a conversation with Jane, "I do not believe Jane has heard the story of your adventure! You should tell it; you were always so good at telling stories."

Loki glanced past Thor to Jane who smiled encouragingly at him, her eyes almost apologetic for Thor's boisterous behavior. He debated for a few moments if he should tell the story, and if so, how much detail he should tell. He didn't want to delve into too much personal details. Though considering almost everyone in the room was drunk and Jane seemed like a sincere, trust worthy person, Loki figured he could tell a good amount of detail.

"Alright," he began, taking one last sip of his drinking before beginning his tale; "Thor and I were placed into foster care after our parents died mysteriously. A lot of the detectives on their case suspected murder but they were never able to find anyone. Having no living relatives to go to, Thor and I entered foster care as we waited to be adopted.

"Things were not so bad at first. We were only young children and did not fully understand what had happened to our parents. Thor and I each found our ways to cope with the loss and played with the other foster kids. Despite the circumstances, we did have fun, even if the fun led us to getting into trouble by our house parents."

"If I recall, you were the one who convinced us to do all sorts of things," Thor spoke up with a stupid grin on his face. The Warriors Three cackled at his comment as if it was hilarious.

"Yes, yes, I do recall that Loki did often convince us to do wicked things which always got us into trouble!" Fandral interjected.

"He didn't earn the nickname 'Silvertongue' for no reason!"

Lips falling into a familiar frown, Loki stopped talking as the others began swapping stories from their childhood. Loki took another sip of his drink, once more allowed to slip into the background unnoticed.

Thor always did this sort of thing when they were children, and it was no different now. He would toss Loki a bone and give him attention, but then he would swipe it away, leaving Loki in the dust as he once again paid more attention to his friends. Loki had learned in the past that no matter how much he tried to gain Thor's attention, it would never work. That is, unless he caused some sort of 'mischief', as everyone seemed to call it, even if it earned him a rather sour reputation.

However, he could sense the burning feeling of a pair of eyes on him.

Glancing up, Loki's emerald eyes met with Jane's. She made a small motion with her head as she stood up. Taking the hint, Loki also rose to his feet, following her as she left the loud chatter of Thor and his friends for the relative quietness of the porch.

As Loki stepped into the cool night air, he shut the door behind them to give them more privacy and to put something between them and the racket of the other's laughs. Jane turned to face him once he was alone.

"It's nice to finally meet you and get to talk to you, Loki. Thor has spoken highly of you." Jane said, offering him a warm smile, as if she could sense that Loki's mood was not matching that of Thor and his friend's good moods.

Likewise, Loki could not help but smile, "Does he? I can't imagine why seeing as I got him into quite a lot of trouble when we were younger."

Jane chuckled, "Yes, he did mention that a few times. He said you were very good with words and could talk others into doing all sorts of silly schemes."

"Silly is a nice way to put it."

"You think your tricks of childhood deserve a harsher word to describe them?"

Loki hesitated before shrugging. He supposed she had a point. He never meant any harm by the tricks, yet Sif and some of the others had appeared to hate him for it anyway.

Jane frowned sadly at his silence. "I know how Thor can be. He's immature and he can't sense the mood, but he has a good heart; he wouldn't mean to hurt you," she gently touched his hand with her fingers, causing him to look into her deep brown eyes. He was surprised by the honest kindness that he saw swimming within their depths, "Don't let his behavior tonight make you think he missed you any less than he does."

Loki smiled warmly at the young girl. No one had ever spoken to him in such a way. No one ever seemed to notice how Thor treated him for that matter. Growing up in a foster home had robbed him of what it felt like to have someone care about him. To have someone finally acknowledge that Thor could be oblivious and unintentionally hurtful was like a breath of fresh air.

"Thank you, Jane." he said. He was surprised by the softness in his own voice when he said it. He truly was touched by her genuine kindness, even if it was just because he was Thor's brother.

Jane just smiled and nodded. She pulled her hand away from his and instead climbed up onto the balcony and pulled her knees to her chest. She gazed across the yard and Loki followed her gaze.

"I never got to hear the end of your story," Jane suddenly said after a lengthy pause.

His eyes flickered back towards the young woman and he couldn't help but chuckle. "Do you really want to hear it?"

Jane turned to meet his gaze again and nodded.

"Very well," Loki dipped his head lightly. He turned his gaze back to the yard as he began to tell his story once again; starting from how Thor was adopted and he was left alone at the foster home, to how he lived in the foster home (though he didn't give too many details on this subject), then to how he has escaped his foster home in order to find Thor. Jane listened intently, politely asking questions from time to time and looking interested in what he had to say. It was a nice feeling; to feel like someone actually wanted to hear what he had to say.

He hoped that Thor would be able to learn from his girlfriend. Though Loki didn't doubt that Thor loved him, he knew he would always be pushed aside when it came to Thor and his friends. Jane seemed like a sincerely sweet girl. Thor had a big heart and he meant well, but he could learn a thing or two from Jane.

After a lengthy silence, Jane spoke up, her voice low and gentle, "You alright?"

Loki immediately nodded, "Yes, I'm fine."

He was confused as to why she only smiled sadly at him.

~/~

The next morning, the sound of a car door shutting the next morning jolted Thor awake from where he had passed out on the couch. Loki jumped awake as Thor began to urgently yell for everyone to get up as he kicked the beer cans into a bag that he thrust into Fandral's arms as the blonde man stumbled past. Immediately, Loki's sharp emerald eyes darted around the room, searching around for signs of a fire or intruder.

The others, despite the hangover they had to be feeling, quickly hurried towards the back door.

"Thor, what's going on?" Loki asked, his voice betraying the fear he felt.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Thor rambled, "My parents are home early."

Loki immediately relaxed for tensing slightly when he realized what that meant. Judging by how quickly everyone left, Loki could tell they must have done this before. However, he found himself rooted to the spot unsure if he should leave or if he should stay.

Thor turned towards him after he had given Jane a chaste goodbye kiss, "Stay here; I'm going to go out there to talk to them and I'll call you in." A soft smile graced Thor's features, "Do not look so worried, brother. Everything will be fine."

With a pat on the shoulder, Thor hurried to the door just in time to greet his adoptive parents as they entered into their home. Loki waited, as he was told, and listened; listened as Thor and his parents greeted each other, how he called them Mom and Dad when his real parents, their real parents, were dead. Tightly clenching his fists, he fought to contain his sudden anger. He hated to hear Thor call these strangers his family. Loki was his only family. These people didn't deserve to be called Mom and Dad. The strange woman who Thor claimed was his mother had not given birth to him, had not sung lullabies to him when he was in his crib, did not change his diaper or anything of the sort. Their real mother had done all that and only she deserved that title.

Likewise, the man whom Thor called Dad had not been the one to teach Thor how to throw a football, or how to ride a bike without training wheels. He had not help Thor's hand as he had spoken of his future, or told Thor of their family history.

To Loki, these people would never be Thor's parents, and it infuriated him that Thor could call these people his parents. They shared no blood and it worried Loki to think that Thor could so easily replace his family. If these people had adopted another child, who's not to say Thor would call this other child his brother or sister?

Loki heard his brother vaguely signal for him to come in, but he was too lost in thought to hear. His body trembled in anger as if seized with a sudden fever, his hands clenched as if the pressure would help keep himself together as memories of childhood, now bittersweet, rushed through his head. He could hear his heart beating and he was sure that wasn't a good thing.

Once again, he heard his brother's voice, this time calling his name. He was forced out of his thoughts and he realized that he had missed Thor's exchange with his so called parents. None the less, Loki drew in a deep breath and let his legs carry him to exit the room to find a place by Thor's side. He forced his expression to remain neutral as he finally gazed at the couple who had stolen Thor from him.

The expressions on their face was one of complete shock. The woman's manicured hands darted towards her mouth as she drew a sharp gasp. She had dark colored hair that curled inwards just below her chin and her eyes resembled dark pools of chocolate. Beside her, her husband stood a head taller with short, blonde hair and dark colored eyes. He too bore a surprised expression on his face as they gazed at the brother they had left in foster care.

"Is this really-?" The woman stammered out.

Loki snorted harshly, "You mean the boy you left in that foster home? The other child you separated from his brother when you adopted Thor? If so, then yes."

The woman winced at his cutting remark.

"Loki, please-" Thor warned, obviously sounding uncomfortable.

Loki sighed and nodded, quietly admitting to reduce the harsh remarks. He didn't want to ruin this. Even though he disliked these people, he needed their cooperation in order to continue seeing Thor.

"So this is Loki?" The man spoke up. He obviously appeared uncomfortable. As Loki had said, they had separated the brothers and had left Loki alone in a foster home. What could one possibly say after that?

None the less, he offered a hand to Loki, "The name's Dennis, Thor's father."

"Adopted father." Loki immediately corrected.

Loki hesitated for a brief moment before shaking Dennis' outstretched hand. The man smiled and pulled Loki close. He wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulder and held him as, Loki could only imagine, a father would hold a son. Stunned, Loki did not hug back.

The hug lasted but a few moments, but to Loki, it felt like an eternity. At last, Dennis released him and patted his shoulder with a smile.

The woman stepped forward once again, looking rather timid still, "It's so nice to finally meet you. I'm Lynne." She whispered softly as she too pulled him into a hug. Loki reluctantly returned the hug, biting back the urge to spit out another smart retort.

And he was glad he kept his tongue for as he parted from Lynne's hug, he turned to face Thor, who bore a soft smile. Loki blinked twice, not believing his eyes when he noticed tears shimmering in his older brothers eyes. He didn't recall ever seeing Thor cry, even when they had first learned of their parent's death. As to why he was crying now confused Loki.

"We must celebrate!" Lynne exclaimed with a smile, "I'm sure we have much to catch up on."

The way she spoke the last sentence caused a shiver to go through Loki's spine. Though she seemed to smile and share in the joy that Thor felt, he suspected that she knew he was not supposed to be here.

As usual, Thor was oblivious to her tone and only nodded, "Yes, maybe we can take Loki to our favorite restaurant for breakfast?"

Lynne exchanged a quick look with her husband and nodded, "I don't see why not."

Loki was reminded of Thor as a child when the older blonde appeared so excited to go out. Thor excitedly took Loki's wrist and said a hasty good bye to his adopted parents as he dragged Loki upstairs to his room.

Thor finally released Loki's wrist as he entered his room. Loki rubbed his wrist absentmindedly as he turned to face Thor.

"Isn't this great, brother! I told you everything would go well!" Thor exclaimed as he went to his dresser and searched for clothes to wear.

"You're still excited even though you must have one hell of a head ache?"

Thor nodded enthusiastically, "Of course! Why wouldn't I be? We're going to be a family again!"

Loki frowned and it felt as though his heart had sunk into his gut. His voice dropping low, he muttered quietly so that Thor wouldn't hear, "We can never be a family again."

Thor continued to bustle around with excitement, unaware of his brother's words. Then again, Thor seemed oblivious to his brother's words when he spoke loudly enough for Thor to hear them.

~/~

A/N: Sorry for late delay. Please review and let me know what you think!


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